During my journey to the realization that god did not exist I decided to imagine life for 30 days with no god. I have since realized that most people who believe cannot do that. Most believers if asked to do so actually try to imagine the world without god as if he/she quit existing. That is far different.

I tried to find something that would be comparable to me as god not existing to a sold-out, brain washed believer. The best I could come up with is the idea that math doesn’t exist.

Math I cannot see, but it’s evidence is everywhere. Everything is based on math. It is silly to imagine that I have 2 items and my wife has 2 items yet we cannot determine how many items we have combined. It is not possible to imagine the world without math. I know it exists. It cannot not exist.

I think to the average believer it would be the same to imagine god doesn’t exist. God’s evidence is all around (to them). Everything is based on god. I will try to remember that when talking to people of faith in the future.

The big difference is if you try to take math out of existence you can’t. There is no way to do it. Math must exist.  There is no way around it. There is no faith that could make sense of the world without. God on the other hand needs faith to exist. Without god and without faith things make much more sense.

To me, the fact that you can make sense of the world without god is just more proof that the whole concept of god is false. If god did exist and was perfect his/her set up for the creation and eternity would be perfect. By nature of being perfect, He could not make a system that was less than perfect. So, unlike math, the existence of everything makes more sense without any concept of god that any man has every presented.

Give it some thought. Tell me what you think. That is just a thought I had tonight and wanted to share.

 

I cannot tell you my name, at least not yet; the security of my career, my family, and my life all hinge on my secret.

I am a licensed minister with a nationally traveling ministry.

I am an evangelist, but I have a secret… I am an atheist.

This Blog will chronicle my journey to come out to the world within the next 12 months and begin the next chapter of my life.

For a couple of years now, I have been struggling with leading two separate lives. The dissonance between my public and private lives, and the fear of being discovered, have become to taxing to continue.

I have a wife and children. 90% of my income comes from sharing Biblical messages in churches and associated church events. If it wasn’t for my financial obligations I would already be out and open about my non-belief. To further complicate this transition I am actually making more money right now than any other time in my career.

I am very well known in the religious realm. I have taken the pulpit in many of the world’s largest churches. I am friends with some of the nations top religious thinkers and apologists. I fear for the backlash and I dread potentially hurting my friends and family.

When I come out, it will cause pain and problems for me, my family, and many Christians who know me and who find inspiration in my ministry. I know that, and that pain is what I dread the most. Most of my own family does not know, and most will not understand.

Join me as I document my progress out of the church. I am opening my heart and life as I traverse this difficult process. Maybe along the way some people will understand what I am going through. It is my sincere hope that others will also find solace if they are suffering in a similar situation and want to leave religion.

I don’t know what to expect. I just know this is not going to be easy.