I cannot tell you my name, at least not yet; the security of my career, my family, and my life all hinge on my secret.
I am a licensed minister with a nationally traveling ministry.
I am an evangelist, but I have a secret… I am an atheist.
This Blog will chronicle my journey to come out to the world within the next 12 months and begin the next chapter of my life.
For a couple of years now, I have been struggling with leading two separate lives. The dissonance between my public and private lives, and the fear of being discovered, have become to taxing to continue.
I have a wife and children. 90% of my income comes from sharing Biblical messages in churches and associated church events. If it wasn’t for my financial obligations I would already be out and open about my non-belief. To further complicate this transition I am actually making more money right now than any other time in my career.
I am very well known in the religious realm. I have taken the pulpit in many of the world’s largest churches. I am friends with some of the nations top religious thinkers and apologists. I fear for the backlash and I dread potentially hurting my friends and family.
When I come out, it will cause pain and problems for me, my family, and many Christians who know me and who find inspiration in my ministry. I know that, and that pain is what I dread the most. Most of my own family does not know, and most will not understand.
Join me as I document my progress out of the church. I am opening my heart and life as I traverse this difficult process. Maybe along the way some people will understand what I am going through. It is my sincere hope that others will also find solace if they are suffering in a similar situation and want to leave religion.
I don’t know what to expect. I just know this is not going to be easy.