Atheists Brought to a Church to Hear Me

I was informed that 2 atheist teens were brought to hear me speak recently. The church that brought me in to speak has been trying to convert them for months. The pastors were really excited to talk to them about my message and try to show them “the truth” through it. They thanked me for being such a great speaker.

It is killing me inside! This has been the hardest thing to deal with so far in my journey associated with my job in ministry. I had to hide my disappointment. I had to pretend it did not bother me to be a part of the proselytizing process. I could not help but think “I hope they did not take everything I said to heart.” I desperately wanted to walk away from my job right there.

It means more to me now than ever that I build a way out of ministry in the church market. I have been working hard towards leaving the religious market and have the groundwork in place to really push the change in my life without my family being totally devastated.

I spoke at great lengths, after the service, with the pastoral staff. I gained much more insight into the situation. I will do another post soon about the atheists that came to the show and what I learned.

7 comments

  1. pcts4you · March 15, 2016

    Ouch. That’s a rough scene. Did you keep their contact info so you could damage control when you come out?

    Liked by 4 people

    • adisillusionist · March 15, 2016

      I wasn’t given the info. I did ask a bunch of questions. I will share my thoughts on their situation in an upcoming post.

      Like

  2. tsentientpuddle · March 15, 2016

    So you learned after you spoke? Could you have done anything if you learned about it before? I guess your next post will answer these questions. I believe your coming out will get back to these teens and will do them more good than you your sermon has done harm.

    Liked by 3 people

    • adisillusionist · March 16, 2016

      I really could not do much different. I am still paid to deliver a message that lines up with the church’s belief. I must do my job.

      I sure hope my story gets back to them and does make an impact.

      Like

  3. awakeningToReason · March 16, 2016

    Thanks so much for sharing this gut-wrenching experience. I’m also in about the same situation, having not come out yet as atheist, having a very visible ministry in my local church (as a lay leader I’m not eligible for the Clergy Project). I so want to scream to everybody I can to stay far away from the tar-baby that is religion, but instead I have to smile, “glorify god”, and give the old theological platitudes as needed! And what eats me up so much is that my wife and I will have a huge impact on our infant grandson – and I wish so desperately to get out before we start mis-training him! I’m eagerly reading your posts and I know just how challenging this stage is – I hope to hear more from you that may help instruct my journey!

    Liked by 2 people

    • adisillusionist · March 16, 2016

      Thanks for sharing! I will continue to post events and ideas. This was hard for me to post. I feel so wrong. I am glad now I did. I hope my future does not end up being a model of what you should not do on your journey.

      Like

  4. Brent · March 16, 2016

    Ugh, that’s hard! I felt the same way during the ~5 years between my deconversion and my coming out to my family and friends (no one else knew), when I had to give my kids advice and help them with their struggles with Christianity.

    Like

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